you could not pay me enough to be this unhinged online
but I won't hold you to the same standard
QUICK HITS
didn’t have time to check for typos today because its friday night in berlin and there are things to do. so if there’s typos or things sound weird, no they don’t.
Wells Fargo fired over a dozen employees for ‘simulation of keyboard activity.’ I didn’t even know “mouse movers” were a thing, and they cost less than $20 too!
Omsom has been acquired by DayDayCook, a multi-brand Asian consumer food company that also owns Nona Lim and Yai’s Thai. Omsom is one of the first brands that got me excited about the CPG space. Their branding is unparalleled, their content is even better, and they’ve consistently done a great job of putting their founders front and center without it getting... weird. Plus, their products are actually great. Details of the acquisition are undisclosed, but they seem happy, so I’m happy for them. Apparently, it all started when Omsom CEO and co-founder Vanessa Pham sent a LinkedIn message to Norma Chu, DayDayCook’s founder, so don’t let anyone tell you LinkedIn is dead!
Bella is cool and all but she and I could never be friends, because I just know she says stuff like this.
I could also never be friends with people who speak ‘brainrot’ because eww. Let me tell you guys something I know you already know—the way you choose to interact with the internet is a choice. The internet is only as real as you want it to be. It can be everything to you, and it can be nothing to you. My combined time spent on TikTok and X a week cannot be more than 30 minutes. I have three Instagram pages—one for books, one that's personal, and one where I get all the news I come to talk about here. I spend the most time on the first one (and it's great for my soul), almost no time on the second one, and an efficient amount of time on the last to write this newsletter. Do I think this makes me better than you? No. Do I think this makes me happier? I don’t know, maybe. Agency is sexy. Use it.
79% of Chinese consumers think using a brand from a particular country signals approval of that country's government, and those of us who’ve been keeping an eye on earnings reports know this to be true. In the last year, brands like Estée Lauder, Hugo Boss, Starbucks, Tesla, Gucci, and Apple have been forced to cut their revenue outlook as demand in the Chinese market falters. This trend cuts across industries and price points and is becoming quite the issue for American companies. China is a MASSIVE market with MASSIVE money to spend, and therefore MASSIVE geopolitical power. There are things I know that I cannot say because of who pays my bills, but if you guys are interested, I want to do a deep dive on this with some cool contributors ~ some time soon ~ because it’s super interesting stuff and I want you guys to go to your dinner parties feeling hot and smug because you know things your friends do not.
But if you want to sound really smart about geopolitics this weekend, you can talk about the craziness that is French politics right now. People who say Americans never know what’s happening in the world haven't met my readers.
You could not pay me enough to be this unhinged online, which is why I am half in awe of Annie Hamilton and half repulsed by her audacity. Does she not care?! I can’t explain this essay to you. You have to read it. It features white women being white women, the inherent embarrassment of parasocial relationships, and that Tavi Gevinson zine. Somewhere between Substack and The Cut, the personal essay is back, and everyone wants in. I won't be participating, but I sure do love to be SHOCKED and AWED!
Americans are spending big on dining out, despite everyone complaining about how expensive groceries are. I am one of those people. “Data from the USDA reveals that 53% of household food expenditure is now spent on food away from home, up from 41% in 1997.” This also explains why restaurants are the new real estate darlings, with data showing that food establishments boost foot traffic to nearby businesses, making landlords eager to sign restaurant leases.
Shopping centers also are making a comeback. According to real estate company Cushman & Wakefield, shopping center vacancy is currently at 5.4%—the lowest it’s been in two decades. But today’s shopping centers look different from what you’re used to. You’re more likely to find a pickleball court or ax-throwing area than struggling bookstores and apparel brands as landlords are signing up more businesses that give shoppers reasons to linger. Still, industry experts warn that this will not be an easy resurgence as consumers and tenants alike get squeezed by inflation and higher interest rates. I’m still trying to decide whether retail is so back or not- I think the answer is neither and both- but what this signals to me is that people want third spaces. Not just places to shop, but places to be.
And on that note, Skims is opening up five permanent stores around the US. The first opening was in Georgetown yesterday, and others will follow in Aventura, Austin, Houston, and Atlanta. There have been reports for a while now that Skims is gearing up for an IPO, so this is a natural next step. An IPO would also explain why Kim has taken a step back from being the face of the brand in the last year. Investors need to know a brand can grow independent of a singular personality. Thankfully, and unlike with Kylie Cosmetics, Skims is better for it because the products are actually great; maybe even the best.
Also on that note, NYC is apparently having a brick and mortar shopping revival. Would definitely trust these people to tell me what to wear.
Should I be a mom, or should I stay a ‘brat’? There have been like three essays in as many days where young-ish women ask some version of this question: to mother or not to mother. So, let me refer you to a mini essay I wrote a while back, which is basically a Gen Z take on this omnipresent first-world dilemma. (Scroll all the way to the bottom for a picture of baby Ochuko and an essay filled with all the anxiety of my generation).
Tokyo’s government is introducing a dating app because no one is having babies anymore. “The hope is to give a ‘gentle push’ to the nearly 70% of people who want to get married but aren’t actively joining events or apps to look for a partner,” a government official told the Japanese media. The government has already invested $1.28 million into the app, which has a scrupulous registration process where users will have to prove they are legally single and willing to get married. I like this. They definitely vote for being mother.
Gen Z is taking over Cannes Lions. UTA Next Gen (formerly JUV Consulting) is bringing their annual ZCON experience to Cannes as "the first space along the Croisette that exists specifically to platform diverse young voices." They will be hosting activations throughout the week with partners like Pinterest and TikTok and speakers will include Madeline Argy, Nadya Okamoto, and Adam Faze. Everyone I know at JUV is incredibly talented and dialed in, so this should be cool.
Teen boys are spending their money on fitness gums like Rockjaw and Jawz Gum to “build the most attractive jawline,” but it’s more likely just giving them cavities and a ‘laxative effect’ instead.
Rihanna wants Taylor Russell to play her in a biopic "because she’s got a nice forehead and she’s fly and I feel like I want to be her, so I want her to pretend to be." Now tell me, who needs Harry Styles with such high praise?
Hair relaxers have been linked to reproductive disorders and cancers, but are still being aggressively marketed to Black women. A 2018 study conducted by Silent Spring Institute of 18 different hair products marketed to and used by Black women found dozens of chemicals that can disrupt hormones — but 84% of the toxic ingredients weren’t listed on the packaging. Many of these ingredients have been linked to reproductive health issues, from uterine fibroids, preterm birth, and infertility to breast, ovarian, and uterine cancer. I wonder if this has anything to do with Black girls getting their periods earlier than white girls.
Employees from Goldman Sachs, Google, Deutsche Bank, and BlackRock are competing in a chess championship to see who is the “smartest company in the world.” This is not a joke. At the FIDE World Corporate Chess Championship, a competition that pits the cleverest pawn-pushers at some of the biggest blue-chip companies on earth, cash isn't the prize—bragging rights are. I know these people are either really cool or completely insufferable. There’s no in between.
The video game industry is having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year. It has already set a new record for in-year layoffs with 10,900 so far vs. 10,500 in 2023, and 8,500 in 2022. “These layoffs span games that were canceled and scaled back, as well as studios that have been shut down or shrunk, and start-ups forced to close after an evaporation of private funding for gaming studios (down 28% from pre-pandemic times though overall VC is up 15%).” Matthew Ball does a great job of explaining what’s happening in this X thread.
The RealReal opened an exhibition of fake bags on Canal Street, which would have been a genius idea if everyone in the comments section didn't immediately start sharing stories of how they’d gotten fake products from the site.
If I see you recording a food service worker for TikTok purposes, I will swat your phone out of your hand.
The Economist accused The New York Times Bestseller List of bias against conservatives, which is very on brand for The Economist. In December, they published a 17,000-word deep dive from ex-Times editorial page editor James Bennet headlined “When the New York Times Lost Its Way.” In response to this latest claim, The Times said, “The political views of authors or their publishers have absolutely no bearing on our rankings and are not a factor in how books are ranked on the lists.” The Economist remains skeptical.
Sony Pictures Entertainment bought Alamo Drafthouse Cinema, the innovative dine-in movie theater chain known as a prime cinephile destination. Sony did not disclose the price of the deal but promised to preserve Alamo’s “distinctive movie-dining experience” in all 35 of its locations. This acquisition is significant for a few reasons: up until 2020, most big movie studios were prohibited by federal law from owning theater chains- a law was created in 1940 when theaters were the main form of movie distribution. Obviously, thanks to streaming, this is no longer the case, and in fact, Sony is the only major studio that doesn't have its own streaming business- which also means they’re the only one that could make such a purchase without it posing a threat to their existing business model. But the theater business is in decline and has been for a long time, so this is a pretty interesting move for Sony. Will be watching closely.
There’s a lot of talk about why artists are canceling arena tours left and right. Theories abound, and apparently “the data is very confusing,” but the issue might just be that some of these artists don't have as much sauce as they think they do.
Chloe Sevigny’s fragrance collaboration with Régime des Fleurs', Little Flower, is the best selling perfume at Moda Operandi right now.
Travis and Jason Kelce are now the largest investors in Garage Beer and “will be involved in every aspect of the business, including brewing, distribution, sales, marketing, and national expansion efforts.” The news generating a lot of press in the sports world, and ESPN NFL insider Adam Schefter tweeted that this is “the first time the brothers are significant owners and operators in business together.” Fans seem stoked.
JPMorgan’s asset-management arm raised more than $500 million for a biotech venture-capital fund that will invest in weight-loss drugs. “The top three choices are obesity, obesity, and obesity,” Steve Squinto, the chief investment officer of the unit’s life-sciences team, said in an interview. Capitalism is quite stunning because it will create a problem and then solve it itself.
1. The GQ story is SO unhinged. Where are the people who should have said, "Honey, no."
2. The Economist is correct about the NYT list. It's not just political books--it happens to some authors of fiction books!
Talk about a NEWSLETTER I feel like I've read the entire internet PLUS all newspapers. Amazing