bad news for HOT GIRLS with IBS
you've been lied to
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Donald Trump found guilty on all counts of ‘hush money’ trial
Netflix is working on music-competition shows. Think ‘Love Is Blind’ meets ‘The Voice’
Pierce Abernathy launched a canned rosé wine brand with a group of culinary personalities and cookbook authors. Oona Wine is ‘savory, food-friendly, structured and acidic, with a creamy nose, tart body, and long, elegant finish.’ You guys know I love some beautiful packaging and brand design, and what they’ve done here is absolutely gorgeous. Forget celebrity brands, more people should make cool stuff with their friends.
Poppi just got hit with a gut health false-ad suit, and I think it’s a sign. A sign of what, you ask? Well, let me give you a bit of backstory first. When I was sixteen, I moved to Canada for this two-year IB program. There were 200 other students, and between us, about 150 countries represented. I can assure you that a time was had. The school chef, who’d been there for a long time, would always complain about the North American students. “They’re the ones with all the food intolerances”, he’d say. “A few from Europe and Asia maybe, once in a while a Latin American kid, but never the African ones. You guys give me no trouble.”
So if I’m a bit of a villain for hating on your favorite ‘wellness’ products, I guess that would be my origin story. I always joke with people that I’m the fifth nicest girl they’d ever meet, but I’ve been worried for a while that my takes on here are a bit harsh, particularly when it comes to the wellness space. I will always take issue with brands that take advantage of people’s health anxieties by positioning their products as ‘better for you,’ without solid evidence that they are. Guys, this really bugs me! Look, I like Poppi as much as the next girl. We don’t have them in Germany, but whenever I go back to the US, my boyfriend and I always make these trips to Whole Foods for the sole purpose of stocking up on them. They’re just that good! Do they have lower sugar levels? Yes. Are they going to have any significant impact on your gut health? Probably not. A few years ago, I didn't know what prebiotic or probiotic meant. These days, every new beverage brand claims to be one or the other. But hey, all brands do is respond to a ‘gap in the market,’ and right now that gap is your very real gut issues. Anyway, this was my sign to keep being real with you guys. Praying for all the IBS afflicted.
While we’re on the topic, Square Circles just closed a $40 million Series A round to invest in science-backed brands in the food, beverage, and health and wellness spaces. "We want to work with scientists to shape a future where consumer products benefit both individuals and the planet," said CEO Osman Khan. Lol should we trust them? I promise you the people just want nice normal food at affordable prices. Extra points if they don’t cause gut issues!
The love affair between food and everything else rages on. Staud celebrated the opening of their two new East Hampton stores with a tomato-themed luncheon at Monte's. Guys, there’s nothing sexier than food right now - strawberries, vanilla, butter, tomatoes... and I think it’s because food (and groceries) have become a weird status symbol. It’s like, are you getting your groceries at Erewhon or are you buying store-brand goods?
My last note on wellness is that I gave my substack bestie Katie Stone a peek into my fridge. To quote myself: “I’m not a 'wellness' girly. I make very little effort to form good habits. But I also have very few vices so I think it balances out.” I know this makes sense. Right
?Artists, I can help you make $500,000. All you have to do is join my $100-a-month coaching program! You know what they say, those who cannot do, teach - which is one way to explain the recent flush of ‘art coaches’ building subscription-based programs offering advice and feedback to aspiring artists. Can’t say I blame them - pretty much the only thing I know about the art world is that it's cutthroat, and that people will often feel sorry for you if you tell them you majored in fine arts. Plus, with ever more artists vying for limited galleries and grants, aspiring artists are using these groups as a way to network and learn things art school didn't teach them. This isn't my world, and I don’t have much of a pov here, but
would love to hear your thoughts!Also just learnt that Sotheby’s is preparing to lay off dozens of employees in the UK, with further cuts planned in other locations. And that’s at least a few more coaches on the market.
Don’t get mad, but I’d totally let Dua Lipa be my cultural concierge. Her book club picks are always solid, and she makes an effort to spotlight international stories and creatives. Plus, she’s Jack Edwards approved, which is really all I needed to know.
Esquire published a piece on why debut fiction has become harder to launch. To get noticed as a first-time author, you apparently need three things: a feature from a celebrity book club, a boost from a major retailer like Barnes & Noble or Amazon, and a major profile to start with. “A debut sets the bar for each of their subsequent books, so their debut advance and sales performance can follow them for the rest of their career. For editors, if a writer’s first book doesn’t perform, it’s hard to make a financial case for acquiring that writer’s second book. And for you, a reader interested in great fiction, the fallout from this challenging climate can limit your access to exciting new voices in fiction.” Before you panic,
did some great myth busting on each of these points. Couldn’t have said any of it better myself, so please go check it out.To celebrate the return of their Iced Coffee Lip Butter Balm, Summer Fridays is hosting a café pop-up in New York next weekend. The menu includes Lip Butter Balm, iced coffee, bagels, and limited-edition merch available only at the event. I just know New York will be overrun by branded cafes and food activations this summer.
Glossier is on a roll! They just announced a new store in Dallas, and Business of Fashion reported that their products will be available in 70 of Australia’s Mecca stores from July 16th. I think their best product is by far the Glossier You fragrance, and word on the street is that they’re already ramping up their fragrance business behind the scenes. As they should.
Well, that didn't last long. Coveteur is shutting down just months after a brand refresh and bringing on celebrity stylist Jenna Lyons as Editor-in-Chief. I feel like everyone is thinking, yeah, could have seen that one coming. Jenna will obviously be free to start a substack now.
Harry Styles wants you to have a WET HOT PLEASING SUMMER. His brand, Pleasing, just made its foray into apparel with a new summer collection that includes a tracksuit, baby tees, short shorts, and linen co-ords. Can’t say I love the apparel, but the totes are cute! They’ll be having a summer long pop-up at Selfridges. Here’s what I wrote about Pleasing in one of my earlier newsletters:
My vague recollections of Pleasing had it as a nail polish company, but they do fragrance, beauty, and apparel too! Did you guys know this? According to Vogue, Harry “remains behind the scenes” (shocker), and co-creative directors Harry Lambert and Molly Hawkins pretty much ran the show until Shaun Kearney was brought on as CEO at the end of 2023. Kearney is responsible for the quick-fire product expansion and the months-long pop-ups in LA and NYC that are only just coming to a close.
Sol de Janeiro has surpassed Rare Beauty as the fastest-growing brand at Sephora. According to Puck’s Rachel Strugatz, their Sephora sales in the U.S. are approaching $120 million year-to-date, while Rare sold about $82 million during the same period. Their success has boosted the entire body splash category, with brands like Bath & Body Works seeing remarkable growth as a result. Remember last year when people were claiming Sol de Janeiro’s body creams attract spiders? Say it with me: all publicity is good publicity!
So like, is Fran Horowitz a genius? I’m asking because while other brands are fighting for their lives, Abercrombie & Fitch just posted 22% fiscal first-quarter sales growth, with profits nearly seven times higher, and well ahead of Wall Street’s estimates. Clearly, their “A&F Wedding Shop,” which they debuted in March, has been a smash hit. Post-pandemic, wedding days have turned into wedding weeks, and so wedding dresses have turned into wedding wardrobes. And instead of renting that one expensive dress from Rent the Runway, people are buying these outfits from A&F for around the same price. I guess the only thing more lucrative than shirtless teens are big fat weddings.
Meanwhile, who’s spending $2,795 on their best friend's wedding?! According to a new Harris Poll surveying 2,073 U.S. respondents, that’s the average amount bridesmaids and groomsmen are spending on weddings these days. More than double the $1,157 average 10 years ago. What kind of weddings are you guys having?
This Alexander Wang ad is almost perfect. The video features a cast of celebrity look-alikes—from Taylor Swift to Beyoncé to Kylie Jenner and Ariana Grande with the Ricco bag, a modernized take on the 2009 Rocco bag. I say almost perfect because I think the whole thing could have been elevated from the ‘stunt’ category if it contained some commentary on dupe culture, which everyone is talking about right now. Still a really cool ad, though.
Thanks to AI, landing a job is once again all about who you know. Queue the "how to network as an introvert" articles.
LTK (formerly rewardStyle and LIKEtoKNOW.it) just sued competitor ShopMy for engaging in “false advertising, trademark infringement, and unfair competition.” The suit details 16 examples of what it calls “misleading claims” in ShopMy marketing materials, mostly concerning features it says it offers that LTK does not. Everyone wants those influencer dollars so bad. In just four years, ShopMy has amassed over 50,000 influencers on its platform to LTK’s 300,000. Their creators are also more affluent- more likely to post about The Row than their latest Amazon finds. One can see how none of this sits well with LTK. Unfortunately, it looks like most people agree the suit probably won’t go anywhere.
Can we finally all agree that Girls was a masterpiece ahead of its time? Those girls would have done so well on TikTok.
So I did some light roasting of Triton Submarines co-founder Patrick Lahey and his Titanic ambitions in my last newsletter. But then a reader who’d done PR for Triton Submarines reached out with a new perspective: “Patrick was lovely, as most Canadians are, and was really just excited about diving, being underwater, and the possibility of discovering more about 70% of our planet (and getting others excited about that too). They have since worked with a super glitzy PR firm I actually deeply admire and drawn really successful investments from the uber-wealthy, but also been thoughtful and safe with their work.” TLDR: Patrick was cool, their projects were worthy, and they were committed to the science, technology, and safety of their vessels. Love my readers, please keep telling me things!
Hot Girls love Bag Balm. I love how this article begins: “It is the rare item that can be found on the shelves of Tractor Supply and in the pages of Vogue.” Slay. According to TikTok skinfluencers like Alix Earle, Bag Balm, a moisturizer originally made for chapped cows’ udders, is perfect for slugging. Just saying, the African girlies have been slugging forever. We call it moisturizing, and we use raw shea butter.
Airmail is currently investigating a mysterious cancer surge among Roanoke College’s young alumni and the grassroots movement seeking answers. In the last three years alone, five alumni from the small Virginia liberal arts school have died of rare cancers, and at least 16 members from the classes of 2011 to 2019 have been diagnosed. Right now, no one knows why. Since publishing the story, Airmail has been alerted to over a dozen more cases by students and alumni. And on Tuesday, Roanoke’s president announced an investigation into the high cancer rate among alumni, working with an environmental services company and the Virginia Department of Health. I’ll keep you updated, but this is really scary.
Vivek Ramaswamy doesn’t want to change BuzzFeed; he wants to be Trump’s running mate. Let’s recap: Ramaswamy buys 8.3% of all outstanding BuzzFeed stock for $8 million. This is fine; activist investors do this all the time to boost profitability and sell for a profit, a la Nelson Peltz. But BuzzFeed is no Disney, and Ramaswamy is no Peltz. So what gives? Well, his demands are as follows: he wants three board seats, more conservative voices on the Buzzfeed roster, staff cuts, and an apology from BuzzFeed for not telling 'the truth' in its investigative reporting. Oh, and he wants all this by July 15, which, as the guys on TBOY pointed out, just so happens to be the date of the Republican National Convention. See, I’m thinking this is a pretty expensive way to get attention, because Ramaswamy doesn't have nearly enough shares to make this happen. If he wanted to get Trump’s attention and secure a place as his running mate, this was either the best or the worst timing.
Wake up people! Book recs are finally happening!!
I love the way I act like people have been grovelling for me to do this. As if this whole will she, won't she, hasn’t been a soliloquy of my own making.
Here’s how it’s going to work: at the end of each newsletter I’ll drop a book I’ve read (or a book thats languishing on my shelf) and tell you why I think you should read it. If you’ve read any of the books I mention, let me know in the comments. Let’s talk about it!
The Book of Goose by Yiyun Li.
Fabienne is dead. Her childhood best friend, Agnès, receives the news in America, far from the French countryside where the two girls were raised--the place that Fabienne helped Agnès escape ten years ago. Now, Agnès is free to tell her story.As children in a war-ravaged, backwater town, they'd built a private world, invisible to everyone but themselves--until Fabienne hatched the plan that would change everything, launching Agnès on an epic trajectory through fame, fortune, and terrible loss.
I chose this book because
had left a comment on my essay that she hoped booktok never reads Elena Ferrante en masse. It’s far too precious! I’ve recommended Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan Quartet to so many people- but it’s quite the commitment and I still have no one to discuss it with! The Book of Goose is remarkably similar- and it’s just one book. If you like Elena Ferrante, you’ll like this. And if you haven’t read Elena Ferrante, this is a great litmus test.
Balance!!!!! Also, wellness is annoying, and that's coming from a girl whose substack is called Plant Based. we don't need prebiotics, or soda alternatives in general, for that matter <3
I love this newsletter and I think you should keep your hot takes. I want like 5 chili peppers spice level 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ and a demotion to 50th nicest person lol jk jk.