your lies are causing businesses to go bankrupt
but I forgive you
QUICK HITS
Thousands of patients to be given world's first cancer vaccine
Girls of color are getting their periods earlier. No one knows why
Sephora is launching in Tanger outlet centers across the country
Sofia and Roman Coppola shot the CHANEL 2023/24 Métiers d’art collection short film, and now I want to be a size zero six-foot model partying it up backstage at a Chanel show. But only fictional models look this happy on the job. Real ones usually don’t have quite so much energy. Over on Chanel’s IG page, I want you to know that great editorial has the capacity to bring me to tears. And theoretically, that’s what the color storytelling here has done.
All the proof you need that Romy Mars has officially entered the zeitgeist. I will hear no nepo baby slander.
Estée Lauder acquired The Ordinary’s parent company, Deciem, for $1.7 billion. The Estée Lauder Cos. first invested in Deciem in 2017, increased its stake to become the majority owner in 2021, and recently exercised its option to purchase the remaining interests for an estimated $860 million. The total investment adds up to about $1.7 billion, net of cash. While Estée Lauder has struggled over the past year due to lower demand in China and the US , Deciem has remained the company’s main bright spot. I had this friend in college who had like 10 The Ordinary products at a time. She knew all the science behind them and had a very strict routine. She was so cool.
Everyone is talking about Starface founder, Julie Schott, and how she’s the Gen Z whisperer. She also founded the eponymously named Julie morning-after pills and Blip nicotine gum. According to Fast Company, “Julie Schott’s brands make it trendy to embrace your flaws.” Elle says the former Elle beauty director is “upending industries—and erasing stigma—with her trademark sense of humor.” Three features saying pretty much the same thing, in three publications, all within a month. Looks to me like someone’s PR machine is hard at work.
Clearly, every day on this newsletter is Sam Altman day. I recently told my friend that I actually wasn't that interested in the AI conversation. That I felt quite dispassionate about the whole thing, actually. But then she was like, “Ochuko, you have at least two points about AI in every newsletter.” So what can I say, I guess the best of us meddle in self-deceit from time to time. I won't do a deep dive into this- I want my readers to be trained in the dying art of long-form reading. Here’s a teaser: Sam Altman has a day job and a side gig, but only one of them is making him rich. And it’s not being the CEO of Open AI. I got you guys a free link, now go read!
Here we go again. There’s a new app ‘that’s grabbed the tech world’s attention.’ Retro was founded by two ex-Instagram engineers, but it’s the anti-Instagram social media app. It prioritizes friendships. It prioritizes community. It’s not toxic. It’s good for you. Real ones already know how I feel about these ‘better for you social media apps.’ So I’ll ask what I always ask. Are you still on X?
Everyone is acting so shocked that AI’s idea of a beautiful woman is skinny, young, and fair-skinned. I guess no one wants to talk about the fact that most people’s idea of a beautiful woman is skinny, young, and fair-skinned. And no, it’s not just white men. OpenAI, the maker of DALL-E, wrote in October that the tool has a built-in bias toward “stereotypical and conventional ideals of beauty.” Sounds about right. Look, these AI systems are quite literally trained on our data— they reflect our behaviors and preferences back to us. As a dark-skinned black woman, this gives me no joy, but neither does performative outrage. Anyway, by now you know conversations of this nature weary my spirit, so go read the piece yourselves.
If you were wondering what my personality was like, this Dakota Johnson sundress is it.
TikTok is apparently working on a US version of its core algorithm, with hopes that even if the app gets banned (although people seem to be in denial that it might), Bytedance can spin off a version that operates independently of its Chinese parent and is more palatable to American lawmakers. This is no easy feat, even for the big brains over there, and the process is expected to take over a year to complete. Y’all better be praying harder than those Meta lobbyists are lobbying!
Sally Buzbee is stepping down as executive editor of The Washington Post. And I mean, I guess someone had to? We’ve gone over how bad The Post has been performing lately, and nothing signals change like the head’s head on the chopping block. Matt Murray, the former editor in chief of The Wall Street Journal, will take her place through the presidential election, and Robert Winnett, a deputy editor of the Telegraph Media Group in Britain, will take over after the election. Godspeed.
This one is for The Lord of The Rings stans, and no one else.
Toyota is ending its years-long sponsorship of the Olympics games, because who’s even watching anymore? “The problem, says one senior advertising executive who has worked closely with several top-tier Olympic sponsors, is that the fragmentation of media consumption and the ever bigger offerings of live sport and other content mean that viewers do not feel as connected to the games as they used to. The difficulty for a sponsor is that, while there may indeed be millions watching the pole vaulting, and by extension the sponsor’s brand in the background, millions more — the next generation of potential Toyota owners, for example — are watching the pole vaulter’s unbranded TikTok video of what they had for breakfast.”
I’ve never watched an episode of Real Housewives of anything in my life, but even I am shocked that Andy Cohen has yet been canceled. Also, this cover is brilliant.
Sezane is tapping select tastemakers to co-host intimate dinners with the brand. Picture fairytale tablescapes, branded tableware, and beautiful people. Love. This is so niche, but have you guys noticed that everyone is obsessed with ‘hosting’ these days? With throwing a good party? A fun event? I’m seeing so many normal people- not brands, not influencers- hosting these really cool events for their friends and communities, and I have to say that I’m a fan. Feel free to invite me to your event. I’m so funny and pretty. I smile a lot.
I see the people want real milk from real cows. In fact, they’ll take it whatever way they can get it. Bovine colostrum is a form of milk secreted during the first few days after a cow gives birth. And according to our dairy-living, milk-fed TikTokers, colostrum is the newest savior for hair, skin, and nail health. It's also great for your gut, but these things always are. There is, of course, little scientific proof for any of this, but who cares?! People are drinking raw milk (ew bird flu), they are making their own buttermilk, they are making dairy hot again? The pendulum that is culture is a fascinating thing.
Related but unrelated, the Business of Fashion has joined me in calling people out on their lies. Sustainable fashion this, sustainable fashion that. SHEIN. Vegan formulas this, vegan formulas that. BALM DOT COM. I keep telling you guys that you can't hide behind these ‘consumer surveys’ forever. Your spending speaks louder than words! But don’t worry, I’m not mad. I just need you to know that your lies are causing businesses to go bankrupt.
So Alix Earle is an investor in Poppi, and I just want to say that at the time of their Coachella partnership, she wasn’t even following their Instagram page. I know this because I checked. I checked because I love mess. Also, bless her, but she's such a liar for saying she drinks two to three cans of Poppi a day! Reminds me of how models are always saying how much they love pizza. They always just had pizza for breakfast. LIES!
Breaking the fourth wall here, but for a marketer, I sure do have a lot of problems with lies and half-truths. Oop!
Vacation and Erewhon have created a sunscreen-inspired smoothie. For Vacation, this marks their venture into “leisure-enhancing consumables.” Wowww that copy! But is this a CPG soft launch I hear? I really want it to be because weird copy aside, I truly adore Vacation and the nostalgic brand universe they’ve created. It’s like, I too would love an 80s summer. But to quote Ms. Swift, without all the racists. (I know I’m cringe, move on!)
Let me be the first to tell you that non-alcoholic beer is becoming a thing. If you heard it elsewhere, no you didn't. For the first time ever, a beer company is getting to sponsor the Olympics. And wouldn't you know it, they’ve chosen Corona Cero—a non-alcoholic beer alternative—as their product of choice. Brands from Heineken to Guinness, and now Corona Cero, see a cohort of health-conscious consumers whose wallets they can tap. Master brewers have been working on formulas to try to replicate the taste and texture of the real thing, and even though the market for NA beer still dwarfs that for regular beer, it’s had an annual compound growth rate of 3.6% since 2018, versus 0.3% for alcoholic beer. So is this an Ozempic thing? A Gen Z sober culture thing? A millennials growing up thing? All of the above?
Go read this article about people spending $$$ on “Holecare”. It’s interesting but I don't feel like talking about it.
Rupert Murdoch got married for the fifth time. The real 93-year-old lover boy.
Will someone please buy the Donald Trump movie? Like seriously, I want to see Sebastain Stan as Trump. If The Apprentice never sees the light of day, just know it's because these big streamers and indie distributors were too chicken!
Speaking of big streamers, Disney and Comcast can’t decide how much Hulu is worth. Disney, which wants to acquire the 33% stake in Hulu currently owned by Comcast, values it at close to $27.5 billion. But Comcast values it at more than $40 billion. So now, they’ve hired a financial advisor to tell them who’s right. If the advisor’s appraisal is closest to Disney’s valuation, the average of those two valuations will be the value at which the deal gets done. Similarly, if the third appraisal is closest to Comcast's, the average of those two valuations is the value at which the deal gets done. I hope you followed all that. Money games, people.
The cast of We Were Liars is very blonde and very beautiful. I think the main character is the girl who dated Evan Mock in the Gossip Girl reboot.
AmExes are the new Gen Z status symbol. Rich kids want to be like their rich parents, poor kids want to be like their friends’ rich parents, and all roads lead to American Express. Amex has updated its benefits mix to focus on younger people, offering rewards and special access to events like Coachella. So far, it’s working. Gen Z and millennial consumers made up 33% of its billed business in its consumer division. By contrast, Gen X represented 37%, and baby boomers 31%. According to the company, millennials and Gen Z consumers made up 60% of its new customer acquisitions worldwide, and 75% of its new platinum and gold accounts were opened by millennial and Gen Z members.
OCHUKO’S BOOK RECS
Today I’m recommending three books set in the art world. Why? Because such books usually feature privileged, self absorbed people doing malicious things to get ahead. There’s usually some gorgeous blonde, a soulful brunette, and an old rich man somewhere in the mix. What’s not to love?
Aurelle Taylor, daughter of a world-famous fashion designer becomes the closest friend of burgeoning painter Diana Martin. They have bonded over a mutual desire to escape their wealthy families and personal tragedies and begin new lives as students at RBU. This is a story about obsession, envy, and friendship, and the lengths people go for fame.
Sirens & Muses by Antonia Angress
Set in 2011, it follows four characters (three students and one professor) as they become more and more deeply entwined in each other's lives. There's bad behaviour, doomed entanglements, old money, no money, and a few art world scandals.
The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer
“The Interestings,” follows a group of friends from an arty summer camp for teen-agers in 1974 up through their adult lives, tracking their talents, expectations, and disappointments. It explores the meaning of talent; the nature of envy; the roles of class, art, money, and power; and how all of it can shift and tilt precipitously over the course of a friendship and a life. Haven’t read this one yet, but
recommended it, so it’s good.YOU’RE WELCOME. ENJOY!!
Loved this!! So scared of the Regular Milk™️ resurgence!
Also, the cover of The Interestings is seared into my brain from a hot 2013 summer when my friend toted it around everywhere... Never read it, but now I want to!
Loud and proud Deciem friend reporting for duty! Wild to see the direction the brand has gone. And love that you included it that tidbit :)