come to my house I have great books
said every hot literati in about a month
there’s actually no reason this newsletter is this late, but here we are. enjoy!
QUICK HITS
The $12,000 Harvard class celebrities are fighting to get into
How the Abercrombie crochet polo became the shirt of the summer
Rising expectations of rate cuts and a Trump victory boost smaller US stocks
I'm not mad that Kaia Gerber is leaning into this hot literati persona. There's a market for that, and that market is me... but also every other girl I follow on Bookstagram because we will apparently all be scrambling to get our hands on this t-shirt when it launches. If you feel tempted to mock, know that Jay Shetty is in the comments section with three whole 👏 emojis. He too might be getting a baby tee.
It might not seem like it from this newsletter, but I try not to have strong opinions about most things. "Tepid" is a word I like. I am tepid about a great many things— Cybertrucks included. But I'm in the minority here; most people either hate them or love them, and it's usually a proxy for how they feel about a bunch of other stuff. I saw one here in Portland recently. It was bigger than I had imagined, and ugly. Everyone was staring. Everyone was frowning. On critics, one Cybertruck owner told The Times, "They are so filled with rage that they have lost all sense of human decency and respect." Another said, "I fit the customer profile for one to a T. I am tall. I am white. I am loud. I don't really have many friends where I live. Most importantly, I desperately want people to think I'm cool." This one sounds like my ex.
How do you think Google is feeling right about now? All they want is a cloud business to end all cloud businesses. To even compete. But no. For the second time in as many months, Google has lost out on an opportunity to make that happen. Yesterday, Bloomberg reported that Wiz, a NYC-based cybersecurity company, had decided to turn down Google’s “humbling” $23bn acquisition offer to focus on growing its recurring revenue to $1 billion (they’re currently at $550 million) and pursue an IPO. Google is obviously not thrilled, but neither are many of Wiz’s employees, who will now be missing out on that big fat payout.
Netflix hired Epic Games' VP of Game Development. They really are serious about this gaming thing, huh.
So, the Nara Smith Marc Jacobs collab ate. It was creative, funny, and extremely on brand. There was this Business of Fashion article a while ago about how beauty brands needed to "tread lightly" with tradwives. Turns out people on the internet feel very strongly about conventionally attractive women who spend a lot of time cooking for their families. My friends and I have speculated that this is probably why Nara hasn’t worked with more brands. I’ve always thought this was so dumb, and honestly such a miss. Turns out I was right. One of the weird things about the internet is that it can make us feel like content other people make is in direct conversation with our lives. Like Nara Smith cooking however many meals a day for her husband and children, or effortlessly staying thin after several pregnancies is a direct slight to you. That this twenty-two-year-old’s life choices are somehow mocking yours. I think it’s strange. I asked my friend, who feels very strongly about Nara’s content, what she’d like her to do differently. She wanted Nara to show more of the hard parts of being a mom, to show the mess, to add more disclaimers that the only reason she was able to do what she does is because she’s privileged (rich, skinny, hot). I think people love to see other people humbled. We take too much comfort in the shit of other people's lives to make us feel better about the shit of our own. Like, of course she’s only showing you the highlights. Have we not established that this is what the internet literally is?! Let’s not conflate authenticity with vulnerability. No one owes you the mess of their lives. Alsoooo, it's always white girls being like omg she needs to acknowledge her privilege. She’s a tool for the patriachyyyyy. Lol. Anway, this is Nara’s latest video telling you guys she’s not a tradwife.
No one ask me about Ballerina Farm. I don’t know her.
I wonder why Hailey Bieber chose W Mag for her pregnancy interview. I feel like she could have gone bigger, but what do I know?
LA Mag’s Editor-in-Chief, Shirley Halperin, resigned this week amid rising complaints that the publication failed to pay overdue bills to freelancers and vendors. According to sources close to the company, things have not been going well since Geragos and Ben Meiselas bought the struggling publication in 2022 for more than $6 million. A former staffer described the new owners as “two lawyers who have no respect for journalism,” and one freelancer said they were owed more than a year’s worth of salary. In a statement to TheWrap, the magazine’s president and publisher, Christopher Gialanella, wrote, “We are proud that Los Angeles Magazine will have a profitable year in a challenging media environment and circulation is way up. We will be announcing our new Editor-In-Chief in the next two weeks.”
My boyfriend lives in Portland and I live in Germany. We’ve been doing long distance for two years and one day I’ll give you and essay, but that day is not today. Today I want to talk about how every last snack in his pantry is protein optimized. I asked my friends if this was a thing their partners also did, and they said to me, Ochuko, it’s a thing we ALL do! One in five Americans are worried they’re not getting enough protein. People want ice cream, cakes, and cookies with extra protein mixed in. If you’re starting a yogurt company, you should hire me. We’ll make magic together.
With Bed, Bath and Beyond out of the picture, Urban Outfitters wants to be the go-to destination for dorm room decor. But so do Walmart, Target, Amazon, and college bookstores, for that matter.
Those "How to Target Gen Z" decks finally made their way to the Skims HQ, and I have to admit, they understood the assignment. I scrolled pretty far down, and I think their Summer Uniform collection is the first that exclusively features teens. It pulls out all the stops—jelly flats, skateboards, charms on bags, boat shoes, Stanleys, flip flops, horse girl stuff, picnic baskets, flip flops, crew socks, and BOOKS. Someone said, let’s get it all in there! This isn’t explicitly branded as a Back To School collection, but I think that’s what it is.
Hollister has been hosting concerts in high schools to showcase its brand to teens and let researchers observe what they wear. So far, all roads lead to the idea of comfort. Fleece tops and bottoms are driving growth in Hollister’s men’s division, and teenage girls told Hollister they feel uncomfortable wearing dresses throughout a day of classes. Looking at that Skims collection, it’s clear they’re also leaning into this insight and going for comfy essentials. Honestly, the whole campaign reminds me of old Abercrombie and Hollister. If they keep going in this direction, I will have so much to write about.
Thoughts on Hot Mess Pickles? Good Girl Snacks’ founders created a Reel pitching Alix Earle on a collab with their flagship product, Hot Girl Pickles. Hot Mess Pickles will be exclusively available to listeners of Alix’s podcast, Hot Mess, and the launch party will be in a club because Alix is a party girl. This may or may not happen (probably won’t), but I do love how the founders are using social media for brand building. They make these day-in-the-life-as-two-small-business founder-besties Reels (and TikToks), taking their followers through everything from merch design, GTM strategy, product development, shoots, and hate comment readings. I’ve talked a bit about how BTS content is a thing brands are doing now, but I think this is the only duo that makes it actually FUN to watch. I’m loving their fits, loving the ideas, loving the branding. I am entertained. I want them to win. I think this is the first-ever video they made.
Sports is having a moment, and it’s having a moment in a culture way. I remember finding out I’d be working on an Olympics activation last year, and thinking to myself, but does anyone care about the Olympics anymore? This was before Taylor and Travis, before Caitlin Clark, and before fashion reinvigorated its love affair with sports. These days, everything is different. Olympic athletes are temporary influencers, the Olympic Village is a sort of hype house, and I can name like five WNBA players now. I’m finding that people usually take better to being influenced by athletes. I think it's the idea that they work harder and are more “respectable” than other celebrities, and therefore deserve more trust. People are also near fanatical about sports. I find female athletes especially interesting because even though they're obviously not a new thing, the place they hold in culture is. I’m seeing conversations here and there about body image, beauty standards, being role models, what they should or should not endorse. Who they should and should not work with. Sooner or later, these conversations will rise to the surface, and I’m scared because people always get pressed when it comes to women’s bodies. But let’s seeeee.
I know these Travis and Jason Kelce cereals are going to do crazy numbers. I just know.
Flamingo Estate warned us that they were out to deliver a Summer of Pleasure, and I am here to tell you that they are standing on business. The other day, Substack bestie
posted a screenshot of a very interesting email subject from Flamingo Estate. It read, “We’re on Ozempic!” Then this morning shared a graphic showing the swift evolution of their email and website copy. The theme is lusty. The jury is still out as to whether sex sells. Their open rate is probably up, people are talking, but who’s to say what impact it’ll have long term, if any. I feel like it might be bad for the delivery rate though. The founder of Flamingo Estate also founded Chandelier Creative, which has worked with Oliver Peoples, Equinox, rhode, Khaite, and Hermes. So I’m going to trust that they know what they’re doing.
Last year, every culture critic penned an essay about how Hollywood needs to make fewer sequels. Develop new IP. Be original. I’m sure if I had a Substack I would have written a great essay on the topic too. I see fewer of those these days, and I think part of the reason is that we’re all trying to process why the biggest box office hits in the last two years have almost all been sequels. Look, I’m sure there are a few explanations for this, but I really wish I had saved those articles with surveys showing how people were so sick of sequels and only wanted !original content! Twisters is a box office hit—doing $80 million in its opening weekend after a projected $50 to $55 million. It’s the third biggest opening weekend of the year, the first two being Inside Out and Dune. Both sequels.
Tween girls are using this app called OnSkin to see what skincare products they should be using. I learned this from last week’s Glossy Beauty Podcast, where they had three girls aged 10, 11, and 12 share all things beauty and skincare. Here’s what else I learned:
Brands mentioned were Supergoop, Tower28, Rare Beauty, Merit, and Drunk Elephant. No mention of Rhode, which was interesting
They really love Sol de Janeiro (bright colors and scents), Glow Recipe, Bubble (branding and mom-approved), and Byoma (same). That “Gen Z/Alpha” branding really does work
Drunk Elephant is aspirational
Katie Fang is a big deal
They are only allowed to wear blush and lip gloss to school but will do a full face at home with friends for fun
Their parents are pretty wary of TikTok and IG but let them use YouTube. They like Shorts
Birthday money is where it's at. They love refills
WWD ranked TikTok’s top 10 indie makeup brands by follower growth versus engagement. The top 3 by average engagement rate are Florence by Mills, Glossier, and R.e.m. Beauty. The top 3 by follower growth are Rhode, Merit, and Summer Fridays.
When I saw that Jacobsen Salt had partnered with Fishwife on what can only be described as zesty salt in a cute tin, I went down a bit of a rabbit hole. What was Jacobsen’s Salt about anyway? I remember seeing that Oishi had partnered with some brand on fancy berry sea salt last month. That brand was Jacobsen’s, and Oishi had reached out to them. Last year they partnered with Fly By Jing on a limited edition Tingly Sichuan Salt, and it turns out their little salt tin slides are a thing they do. They even gave out mystery salt tins last year. Like, what kind of salt will you find in this box? Cute. I’m not ashamed to tell you I did a size comparison between their salt tins and altoid tins. Idk, I think there could be a real market for this if they sized up a bit.
jacobsen x fishwife. jacobsen x oishi Literally not surprised about the FTC Hims & Hers Inquiry.
Media (have you heard about Hunterbrook?!) published an expose on them last month. The title read “Hims & Hers Selling GLP-1 Injection That's Not FDA Approved, From Shady Supplier — And Won't Make You Talk to a Doctor to Get It.” Hunterbrook is one to watch because it's pretty much these two Harvard alums who created a hybrid media-finance company that publishes market moving investigative pieces, then makes investments to profit from the market’s reaction. The newsroom does takedowns of target companies, and their hedge fund shorts the target's stock to make money. Fun. I’ve just been waiting for some sort of fallout from their Hims & Hers piece. Hims didn’t provide any details as to what the probe is about, but the company’s stock fell 4.7%, after shares had gained 129% this year.Shay Mitchell’s luggage brand, Beis, is teaming up with the National Park Foundation for a month of special product drops and IRL events to support NPF in their mission to protect and preserve over 400 national parks. This will be great for my brands of summer series, which I promise I haven’t forgotten. More to come Friday. By the way, I started a rewatch of PLL yesterday and am determined to see it to its bitter, unhinged end.
Second quarter figures are in, and luxury isn’t looking too hot. Kering’s sales fell 11% in Q2, and profits fell 50% in the first half of the year. Gucci, the group’s largest brand, fell 20%. Over at LVMH, revenue slipped for the second consecutive quarter, with only a 2% sales growth. Slowing demand in China is a big factor here, but I’m not going to go too deep into this because I’m working on something.
Re: the Skims thing - this is a weird move for them, as they’ve been pretty tight with their marketing. This is giving “let’s be everything to everyone.”
Forecasting email delivery problems for Flamingo Estate and whoever else is on their shared email IP lolz