millenial mom to young children here! I will say that this is all so valid and I'm glad you posted for everyone to digest. I left a 6-figure job a couple years ago, and am now working for myself. What I will contribute advice-wise is that all my colleagues that make 6-7 figures were also feeling stressed about money (and a lot of them still are are stressed today). Lifestyle creep with income growth is so real, so as we all ride this insane financial/economic/multiple global crises together, I'd say don't forget to make sure you are constantly assessing what your baseline budget & needs are to avoid lifestyle creep. It's a lot of self reflection and hard realizations, but it's worth it!
Gen X here… please take comfort in knowing that you have time on your side to let your money compound. In my 20s, nobody I know or knew who was my age invested anything, and most hadn’t invested a single penny until they were in their 40s at the youngest (we were still paying off student loans and those credit cards they lured us to open with booths on campus as Freshman). Most of us were creatives with low incomes, so we are playing catch up now. My (not professional) advice is to immediately open up a Roth account if you haven’t already, and maximize your annual contribution (up to 7K) each and every year, no matter what discretionary spending you need to cut, especially if you don’t have a 401K with an employer match. Invest it in broad market ETFs, not individual stocks, leave it there, and let it grow.
And if you can’t pay off a credit card in full each month, put it away until you can, even if this means you have to dramatically change your lifestyle.
I love this so much. If I had any advice it would be to start investing as early as possible, even if it's just a tiny bit. Building a good base in your 20s gives you more freedom in your 30s and 40s. And then get really clear on your spending priorities. Just because your friends are spending money on XYZ doesn't mean you have to! I really appreciated Viv's comment about influencers not paying for the products they promote on social media -- it's so easy to forget that so much of what we see is just an ad.
Keep this conversation going, Ochuko! It's so important!
This is quite heartbreaking to read, to be honest. Our 20s are difficult because it's a general time of transitioning from a life of being told what to do ALL THE TIME (parents, school, etc) to being responsible for our own selves... and transitions are HARD even in the most simple of circumstances. Add to that an economic disturbance like the one we are in + the pressure of being perfect (as imposed by social media) + adults who can't exactly provide great advice because they haven't lived through anything quite like it ... no wonder everyone is anxious.
The one thing I will say that helps me personally is to read older books - if for no other reason than to realize that people have struggled with versions of these things for ages... and this is what it feels like to be human. That and, spending less time on social media. Sending hugs to everyone who shared.
Everything is extremely precarious, and the way tech and services have optimized to be way more habit-forming makes it very difficult to make lifestyle changes. And those costs are only going up.
My main piece of advice is to get a roommate, if you don’t have one already. I’ve never lived alone - I’ve had roommates for 18 years (although for the past 6 it’s been my now-husband, so it’s a different vibe). Rent is most people’s #1 expense, and this is an excellent way to cut it in half. Perhaps I’ve been lucky, but pretty much all of my roommates have been fine! One was a friend when we moved in together, but we haven’t spoken since she moved out. One was a casual acquaintance who ended up becoming a lifelong friend. Most of them were pleasant and reasonable people - the vibe you want is like a co-worker. A lot of people say that living alone is an important milestone to reach as an adult, and that the self-discovery is worth the financial sacrifice. I wouldn’t know, because I’ve never done it, but I don’t think I’m stunted. And I’m confident that the money I’ve saved is in the high five figures, minimum, possibly low six. To me, that’s a worthy trade off.
The shift away from roommates has been noticeable, in what people portray online and in the "discourse". But people don't treat it as seriously as dating and it should be - you're sharing your personal space with someone! and Post-2020 when a lot of social norms have fallen off, it's more important to find someone who you vibe with, and it's a great way to get over the isolation people experienced in that time.
Stuck in a loop of financial anxiety is so real. I'm on the cusp of millennial and gen-z, but a lot of this feels true to my experience too! Great post.
*really* good post. Worth reflecting back on in 1, 3, 5, 10, 15, 20 years, depending on your situation.
agreed. fully acknowledge that a lot of this is just being young and growing up. but also. 2025 is a rough year to be young
we were misled about “low” unemployment numbers: https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2025/02/11/democrats-tricked-strong-economy-00203464
yeah I saw this! love being gaslit by the governmenttt
This is so smart and thoughtful. Excellent job
Thanks Pandora :)
Insightful and honestly very comforting as a gen z woman. we are all in this together - 10/10 reporting babe!
lol would love to be not in this together ngl
Love your work Ochuko 💖💖
thanks rammy :)
brilliant and important. amazing work, as always!
:))
beautifully done, thank you Ochuko
thanks for contributing xo
millenial mom to young children here! I will say that this is all so valid and I'm glad you posted for everyone to digest. I left a 6-figure job a couple years ago, and am now working for myself. What I will contribute advice-wise is that all my colleagues that make 6-7 figures were also feeling stressed about money (and a lot of them still are are stressed today). Lifestyle creep with income growth is so real, so as we all ride this insane financial/economic/multiple global crises together, I'd say don't forget to make sure you are constantly assessing what your baseline budget & needs are to avoid lifestyle creep. It's a lot of self reflection and hard realizations, but it's worth it!
Gen X here… please take comfort in knowing that you have time on your side to let your money compound. In my 20s, nobody I know or knew who was my age invested anything, and most hadn’t invested a single penny until they were in their 40s at the youngest (we were still paying off student loans and those credit cards they lured us to open with booths on campus as Freshman). Most of us were creatives with low incomes, so we are playing catch up now. My (not professional) advice is to immediately open up a Roth account if you haven’t already, and maximize your annual contribution (up to 7K) each and every year, no matter what discretionary spending you need to cut, especially if you don’t have a 401K with an employer match. Invest it in broad market ETFs, not individual stocks, leave it there, and let it grow.
And if you can’t pay off a credit card in full each month, put it away until you can, even if this means you have to dramatically change your lifestyle.
I love this so much. If I had any advice it would be to start investing as early as possible, even if it's just a tiny bit. Building a good base in your 20s gives you more freedom in your 30s and 40s. And then get really clear on your spending priorities. Just because your friends are spending money on XYZ doesn't mean you have to! I really appreciated Viv's comment about influencers not paying for the products they promote on social media -- it's so easy to forget that so much of what we see is just an ad.
Keep this conversation going, Ochuko! It's so important!
This is quite heartbreaking to read, to be honest. Our 20s are difficult because it's a general time of transitioning from a life of being told what to do ALL THE TIME (parents, school, etc) to being responsible for our own selves... and transitions are HARD even in the most simple of circumstances. Add to that an economic disturbance like the one we are in + the pressure of being perfect (as imposed by social media) + adults who can't exactly provide great advice because they haven't lived through anything quite like it ... no wonder everyone is anxious.
The one thing I will say that helps me personally is to read older books - if for no other reason than to realize that people have struggled with versions of these things for ages... and this is what it feels like to be human. That and, spending less time on social media. Sending hugs to everyone who shared.
Everything is extremely precarious, and the way tech and services have optimized to be way more habit-forming makes it very difficult to make lifestyle changes. And those costs are only going up.
Very interesting piece
My main piece of advice is to get a roommate, if you don’t have one already. I’ve never lived alone - I’ve had roommates for 18 years (although for the past 6 it’s been my now-husband, so it’s a different vibe). Rent is most people’s #1 expense, and this is an excellent way to cut it in half. Perhaps I’ve been lucky, but pretty much all of my roommates have been fine! One was a friend when we moved in together, but we haven’t spoken since she moved out. One was a casual acquaintance who ended up becoming a lifelong friend. Most of them were pleasant and reasonable people - the vibe you want is like a co-worker. A lot of people say that living alone is an important milestone to reach as an adult, and that the self-discovery is worth the financial sacrifice. I wouldn’t know, because I’ve never done it, but I don’t think I’m stunted. And I’m confident that the money I’ve saved is in the high five figures, minimum, possibly low six. To me, that’s a worthy trade off.
The shift away from roommates has been noticeable, in what people portray online and in the "discourse". But people don't treat it as seriously as dating and it should be - you're sharing your personal space with someone! and Post-2020 when a lot of social norms have fallen off, it's more important to find someone who you vibe with, and it's a great way to get over the isolation people experienced in that time.
Stuck in a loop of financial anxiety is so real. I'm on the cusp of millennial and gen-z, but a lot of this feels true to my experience too! Great post.